Swede King Is Massively Popular, Thanks To Alleged Strip Club Scandal

Hey you! Yes, you! Carl XVI Gustaf! Why are you allegedly visiting strip clubs? Are you fatigued at the nauseating lap dances from jesters? Yes? No? Eh?

Yessssirie folks'! According to a poorly sourced book, the Swede king who goes by the name of an off tin-can of polyutherane furnished accordion, Carl XVI Gustaf, has allegedly visited 'exclusive' strip clubs in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics, and Slovakia in 2008 (by 'exclusive' we mean those places where taxpayers fund the unimportant elite with mammoth sums of banknotes, such as $20million taxpayer-funded stipend, to spend on skanks).

According to an insider from inside the book, which critics call a 'hardcopy of a gossip magazine', Milla Markovic has some pics' of the Swede king's entourage in 'compromising positions'. They most certainly shook hands and made a $20million worth transaction. Who are we kiddin'? Of course they shagged anything and everything but their wives.

According to the 'hardcopy gossip magazine', the old geezer rose to public attention when he allegedly had a secret love affair during the 1990's, and would often be entertained by scantily bedecked skanks in Stockholm night clubs with his monarch horses/men.

To make matters of tedious commentary, the Swede media as infuriated as black and white could ever be, in Times New Roman (alas with the absense of caps lock, because they're not really angry), state that:

"If it turns out that the king lied straight into (Swedes') faces, we could be one step closer to a republic."

With the media's dull recomendations towards the king, alas, he massively still remains a popular candidate to give Swedes' the desperate worldly attention they need, due to 44% of Swedes' in support of the king, despite them paying for the uninvited, festivities. In response to the allegations, a royal commentator whom probably missed out on the low-key festivities claims that:

"His reputation has of course been hurt by this and he's had a difficult time defending himself."

Of course the king is having a difficult time, quite difficult that he's "turning the page", on you boring newsprints, eh? Imagine the king cooing admission of guilt, 'it wasn't me', while we unresponsively 'turn the pages' in our newsprints.

Besides.

Give the Swede king a break, okay? Queen Silvia's not the ideal German-looking pornstar, okay?

Sigh.