Remember that time when we thought Christina Aguilera was weird? No seriously, she was strange and wonderful - just another premature delivered casualty, right?
She extremely grotty at being reportedly intoxicated - we uneventfully refused to yawn an insult at her. She's astoundingly a hideous-looking barbie - we at She & Him still don't get her as she's characterless - and colorlessly pigmented like a laundry detergent.
Now take this borebag - spice it with a distasteful, creepy sexuality - and all those toxic chemicals - you get Lady Gaga - an awful-inspiring spectacle.
Truth be told. Lady Gaga is freakishly popular, without a doubt, as she makes records sales a mere intake of pancakes - and boring artists look exceptionally flimsy and disinteresting. Alas, for the sake of usual short term interest, we won't dwell on how brilliantly unusual she is. As a matter of fact it wouldn't be too appetizing.
If you noob to the sphere of Gaga ambience, you should know as the case may be, that Gaga's album is the fastest-selling album, this year, in every country, but that irregular country that goes unheard of - and disapears in a blink of the eye throughout the year. Yes it's Lebanon.
According to the unsatisfying to the sense government reports, the album's banned from stores due to "alleged insults to Christianity" and "it's all round 'bad taste.'"
Your guesses, believably, are as good as our ballpark. Christians are crappy folks. They accidently on purpose, hate everything that's ethically and morally honest and unrelated to Jesus. They are offended by ice cream ads on Youtube - and Jim Gaffigan's postcard jokes.
They likely assume Gaga to be the devil and endlessly pray til' they eventually go gaga.
Still, nobody cares whether or not the Lebanese government bans the album. Who cares. Prayer doesn't work and insults work better anyways.
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
France Apparently Bans Imaginary Friends - Facebook And Twitter From Tv/Radio
France is looniously a strange inanimate begrudging hag which we attracted to for unknown purposes. Take the shabby critter Erika Eiffel, whom supposedly had a sexual attraction to the Eiffel Tower. If we had known we would've handed it a dildo.
And, don't forget Hitler's sexual frustration - ordering it to be destroyed because Germans could possibly only scaffold walls.
Of all the things that the French could possibly ban, like awful pennycatch French accordion music, stupid annoying french Ronald McDonald mimes and awful english diction creatures- the French have banned the use of Facebook and Twitter on Tv/Radio, probably because they're terribly phonated.
Apparently the French government is as annoyed as we are - as Facebook and Twitter is mentioned after every other word - and that it's unfair to other social networking sites; Bebo, Myspace, the creep peado sort.
Soon they'll probably be banning circus nets, English (which could be a good thing) and stupid people cooing their opinions about France banning the burqa.
Can someone have a word with France please?
And, don't forget Hitler's sexual frustration - ordering it to be destroyed because Germans could possibly only scaffold walls.
Of all the things that the French could possibly ban, like awful pennycatch French accordion music, stupid annoying french Ronald McDonald mimes and awful english diction creatures- the French have banned the use of Facebook and Twitter on Tv/Radio, probably because they're terribly phonated.
Apparently the French government is as annoyed as we are - as Facebook and Twitter is mentioned after every other word - and that it's unfair to other social networking sites; Bebo, Myspace, the creep peado sort.
Soon they'll probably be banning circus nets, English (which could be a good thing) and stupid people cooing their opinions about France banning the burqa.
Can someone have a word with France please?
Congressman Anthony Weiner Has Itchy Internet Sensation Crotch
Anthony Weiner - a mishmash between a grody-looking Lea Michele and a biped alias of a penis fabricated under the name of a sausage, has admitted to sending gawdy pics' of his penis to 'young female fans'.
In other words the democrat congressman had online relationships with six perverted creatures over the years on the internet, which is worth a tear or two, probably because he realised how lustfully grotty he is.
Anyhow, to make matters absurdly batty, he denied sending a close-up picture via his Twitter account of his tingling crotch in cruddy stained undies' that reached a woman in Seattle. However, after possibly planting the seed of doubt and due to enormous pressure he finally admitted to revealing his creepy crotch to numerous disturbed hussies.
Weiner (Sausage/Penis, which your preference) pathetically sobs:
"The picture was of me and I sent it. I am deeply sorry for the pain this has caused."
The tainted internet sensation adds:
"I don't know what I was thinking. This was destructive things to do."
It doesn't get more damaging than this folks. "I don't know what I was thinking", now we're all fucked. Pack your bags and leave, warp to anything but those six hussies for all we care, before bovine Shelly gets home.
Itchy crotch crummy baby-kissers always blabber about our last expedient to make themselves look 'good', when not in crotchy attire. And here at She & Him we thought congressman shag antique cabinets.
Okay. NOW RUUUUUUUUUN!
In other words the democrat congressman had online relationships with six perverted creatures over the years on the internet, which is worth a tear or two, probably because he realised how lustfully grotty he is.
Anyhow, to make matters absurdly batty, he denied sending a close-up picture via his Twitter account of his tingling crotch in cruddy stained undies' that reached a woman in Seattle. However, after possibly planting the seed of doubt and due to enormous pressure he finally admitted to revealing his creepy crotch to numerous disturbed hussies.
Weiner (Sausage/Penis, which your preference) pathetically sobs:
"The picture was of me and I sent it. I am deeply sorry for the pain this has caused."
The tainted internet sensation adds:
"I don't know what I was thinking. This was destructive things to do."
It doesn't get more damaging than this folks. "I don't know what I was thinking", now we're all fucked. Pack your bags and leave, warp to anything but those six hussies for all we care, before bovine Shelly gets home.
Itchy crotch crummy baby-kissers always blabber about our last expedient to make themselves look 'good', when not in crotchy attire. And here at She & Him we thought congressman shag antique cabinets.
Okay. NOW RUUUUUUUUUN!
Monday, 6 June 2011
Kim K Getting Married In 2 Months Time
Kim K's planning a wedding in 2 months time Y'know, and you stupid people are uninvited. Stupid people watched William and Kate's wedding Y'know, because it was tiresomely dreary, made us bang the telly against the urinal every time we saw Huw Edwards and, sexually disorientated us with the Queen looking like skimmed lemon fancies.
That's right! Kim K's planning a wedding of the century after beau Kris Humphries cocked the broomstick and kneeled on one foot.
According to an insider whom we assumed to be invited and as happy as all you stupid uninvited people are. It claims:
"The wedding will happen within six to eight weeks. The wedding shower will take place about a month from now, they're doing things very, very quickly. It's being fast-tracked."
Furthermore, in an attempt to develop schemas for stupid outsiders, Kim K's hoping to putting weddings back on the rack and, rival the boringly uncompetitive and unreceptive wedding of William and Kate.
According to an unoticeable friend of Kim. It coughs and farts:
"Kim is planning the wedding of the century. She doesn't see why a royal wedding should get more attention than hers. She sees herself as a bigger celebrity than Kate Middleton."
Of course, truth be told, anything yet everything was more fevereshly popular than Kate in a frock with her flattened bike-rack on her wedding day. Every speck of organism focused on Pippa's ventilator, which explains why doors were shut and eyeballs glued to the tellybox.
Yet, masses turned out at the wedding, yes, deranged mentally retired creatures whom thought the Beastles were playing at Westminster.
Excuse Kim stupid people and Kate. Her trivial notion of having the wedding of the century is off the dock, Y'know it's Kim we're talking bout'. Clearly off the dock and brain-damaged, that's why stupid people aren't invited, okay?
That's right! Kim K's planning a wedding of the century after beau Kris Humphries cocked the broomstick and kneeled on one foot.
According to an insider whom we assumed to be invited and as happy as all you stupid uninvited people are. It claims:
"The wedding will happen within six to eight weeks. The wedding shower will take place about a month from now, they're doing things very, very quickly. It's being fast-tracked."
Furthermore, in an attempt to develop schemas for stupid outsiders, Kim K's hoping to putting weddings back on the rack and, rival the boringly uncompetitive and unreceptive wedding of William and Kate.
According to an unoticeable friend of Kim. It coughs and farts:
"Kim is planning the wedding of the century. She doesn't see why a royal wedding should get more attention than hers. She sees herself as a bigger celebrity than Kate Middleton."
Of course, truth be told, anything yet everything was more fevereshly popular than Kate in a frock with her flattened bike-rack on her wedding day. Every speck of organism focused on Pippa's ventilator, which explains why doors were shut and eyeballs glued to the tellybox.
Yet, masses turned out at the wedding, yes, deranged mentally retired creatures whom thought the Beastles were playing at Westminster.
Excuse Kim stupid people and Kate. Her trivial notion of having the wedding of the century is off the dock, Y'know it's Kim we're talking bout'. Clearly off the dock and brain-damaged, that's why stupid people aren't invited, okay?
Cheryl Cole Replaced With Nicole Shitsinger
Off-putting. Apart from Simon's unbuttoned shirt, now, after weeks of mucking about, Cheryl Cole has been replaced by Nicole Shitsinger (who's he?), on the U.S X Factor show.
Yes folks, that's right! In recent weeks, Cheryl Cole went from a benchwarmer to a complete ass. No we are not referring to her as clear as gutter-larynx accent, rather, she was let go as a result of there not being enough chemistry, and probably because she retardedly held her head at a 60 degree angle.
According to an insider whom we believe we ought to trust, it boo's:
"There was no spark. It was nobody's fault. It just didn't work."
Although Cheryl was invited back to the show she disastrously failed to swoon over Simon, Fox and Freemantle producers, yet they payed off her contract so that she may move foward. The was no spark, otherwise, no one desired to plug the socket.
Nevertheless, Cheryl riverdanced off with a handsome $1,5million, for compensation and, emotional distress, pain and suffering, probably and all those other natural emotions him's sensory receptors - testicles - arouse at for pleasure.
Alas, Cole will make a brief appearance on the show for a handful episodes like an airhead, and we'll lust on an awfully lackluster Nicole Shitsinger. Who? Don't ask us, we still don't know who he is. Wait a minute, nah.
On the bright side, at least, Cheryl could bag a medicine cabinet of benzodiazepines.
Yes folks, that's right! In recent weeks, Cheryl Cole went from a benchwarmer to a complete ass. No we are not referring to her as clear as gutter-larynx accent, rather, she was let go as a result of there not being enough chemistry, and probably because she retardedly held her head at a 60 degree angle.
According to an insider whom we believe we ought to trust, it boo's:
"There was no spark. It was nobody's fault. It just didn't work."
Although Cheryl was invited back to the show she disastrously failed to swoon over Simon, Fox and Freemantle producers, yet they payed off her contract so that she may move foward. The was no spark, otherwise, no one desired to plug the socket.
Nevertheless, Cheryl riverdanced off with a handsome $1,5million, for compensation and, emotional distress, pain and suffering, probably and all those other natural emotions him's sensory receptors - testicles - arouse at for pleasure.
Alas, Cole will make a brief appearance on the show for a handful episodes like an airhead, and we'll lust on an awfully lackluster Nicole Shitsinger. Who? Don't ask us, we still don't know who he is. Wait a minute, nah.
On the bright side, at least, Cheryl could bag a medicine cabinet of benzodiazepines.
Swede King Is Massively Popular, Thanks To Alleged Strip Club Scandal
Hey you! Yes, you! Carl XVI Gustaf! Why are you allegedly visiting strip clubs? Are you fatigued at the nauseating lap dances from jesters? Yes? No? Eh?
Yessssirie folks'! According to a poorly sourced book, the Swede king who goes by the name of an off tin-can of polyutherane furnished accordion, Carl XVI Gustaf, has allegedly visited 'exclusive' strip clubs in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics, and Slovakia in 2008 (by 'exclusive' we mean those places where taxpayers fund the unimportant elite with mammoth sums of banknotes, such as $20million taxpayer-funded stipend, to spend on skanks).
According to an insider from inside the book, which critics call a 'hardcopy of a gossip magazine', Milla Markovic has some pics' of the Swede king's entourage in 'compromising positions'. They most certainly shook hands and made a $20million worth transaction. Who are we kiddin'? Of course they shagged anything and everything but their wives.
According to the 'hardcopy gossip magazine', the old geezer rose to public attention when he allegedly had a secret love affair during the 1990's, and would often be entertained by scantily bedecked skanks in Stockholm night clubs with his monarch horses/men.
To make matters of tedious commentary, the Swede media as infuriated as black and white could ever be, in Times New Roman (alas with the absense of caps lock, because they're not really angry), state that:
"If it turns out that the king lied straight into (Swedes') faces, we could be one step closer to a republic."
With the media's dull recomendations towards the king, alas, he massively still remains a popular candidate to give Swedes' the desperate worldly attention they need, due to 44% of Swedes' in support of the king, despite them paying for the uninvited, festivities. In response to the allegations, a royal commentator whom probably missed out on the low-key festivities claims that:
"His reputation has of course been hurt by this and he's had a difficult time defending himself."
Of course the king is having a difficult time, quite difficult that he's "turning the page", on you boring newsprints, eh? Imagine the king cooing admission of guilt, 'it wasn't me', while we unresponsively 'turn the pages' in our newsprints.
Besides.
Give the Swede king a break, okay? Queen Silvia's not the ideal German-looking pornstar, okay?
Sigh.
Yessssirie folks'! According to a poorly sourced book, the Swede king who goes by the name of an off tin-can of polyutherane furnished accordion, Carl XVI Gustaf, has allegedly visited 'exclusive' strip clubs in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics, and Slovakia in 2008 (by 'exclusive' we mean those places where taxpayers fund the unimportant elite with mammoth sums of banknotes, such as $20million taxpayer-funded stipend, to spend on skanks).
According to an insider from inside the book, which critics call a 'hardcopy of a gossip magazine', Milla Markovic has some pics' of the Swede king's entourage in 'compromising positions'. They most certainly shook hands and made a $20million worth transaction. Who are we kiddin'? Of course they shagged anything and everything but their wives.
According to the 'hardcopy gossip magazine', the old geezer rose to public attention when he allegedly had a secret love affair during the 1990's, and would often be entertained by scantily bedecked skanks in Stockholm night clubs with his monarch horses/men.
To make matters of tedious commentary, the Swede media as infuriated as black and white could ever be, in Times New Roman (alas with the absense of caps lock, because they're not really angry), state that:
"If it turns out that the king lied straight into (Swedes') faces, we could be one step closer to a republic."
With the media's dull recomendations towards the king, alas, he massively still remains a popular candidate to give Swedes' the desperate worldly attention they need, due to 44% of Swedes' in support of the king, despite them paying for the uninvited, festivities. In response to the allegations, a royal commentator whom probably missed out on the low-key festivities claims that:
"His reputation has of course been hurt by this and he's had a difficult time defending himself."
Of course the king is having a difficult time, quite difficult that he's "turning the page", on you boring newsprints, eh? Imagine the king cooing admission of guilt, 'it wasn't me', while we unresponsively 'turn the pages' in our newsprints.
Besides.
Give the Swede king a break, okay? Queen Silvia's not the ideal German-looking pornstar, okay?
Sigh.
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Jesus Christ its' Snooki?!?
Often we frivolously glance at the billboard slogan 'don't drink and drive' - but because we're increasingly besotted in backwardness and brainless activities - the temptation to intoxicate our bloodstreams are less concerned as to the boring drive home - and the monotonous slogan seems perplexed - inevitably reminding traffic cops that we're drunk and can no longer read the road signs...
Snooki on the other hand pathetically sober, slammed into a cop car over the weekend while filming the bland to eye-peeling fourth season of Jersey Shore (which you lot can spiritlessly watch on Mtv) - doubtlessly to provokingly remind us of how terribly annoying she is...
In the name of free press -Snooki (and her irrelevant co star Deena) crashed her Fiat Multipla into two Italian Police officers. Apparently, the two police officers were supposedly to escort the reality flop, Snookie - through the city - and pressumably to be discarded from the city...
According to the gleeful police spokesman Florence:
"It was nothing serious and they have been released, but they will not be back at work for a week," presumably, when the shooting of Jersey Shore's fourth season cease's to exist - such the music videos on Mtv...
Florrie' Florence also prattles that the two officers have 90 days to file a lawsuit - ineffectively the legal system would be absent on the court set date. We said it, for your amuse'...
Alas, roads in Italy are finally safe now that Snooki has been stripped from her drivers licence - not that she could ever have seen beyond the dashboard due to her 140cm shoelace length- including a funnel rivited to her achondroplasia neck - an ornamental lamppost. Or a pug with a surgical collar, which ever your preference...
The two officers escaped with minor whiplash injuries though they probably begged and pleaded for major fiendish injuiries - to the extreme where self-mutilation's an option...
To the point where they obtusely hallucinate and start shouting, 'transform us into a car - we'll take civil action - within 90days we'll fender bender the entire force' - whatever it takes to keep them off duty whilst Snooki continues to pull the plug on our humor with her fully throtlled irritation...
Hand this dwarf a trike please, eh?..
Snooki on the other hand pathetically sober, slammed into a cop car over the weekend while filming the bland to eye-peeling fourth season of Jersey Shore (which you lot can spiritlessly watch on Mtv) - doubtlessly to provokingly remind us of how terribly annoying she is...
In the name of free press -Snooki (and her irrelevant co star Deena) crashed her Fiat Multipla into two Italian Police officers. Apparently, the two police officers were supposedly to escort the reality flop, Snookie - through the city - and pressumably to be discarded from the city...
According to the gleeful police spokesman Florence:
"It was nothing serious and they have been released, but they will not be back at work for a week," presumably, when the shooting of Jersey Shore's fourth season cease's to exist - such the music videos on Mtv...
Florrie' Florence also prattles that the two officers have 90 days to file a lawsuit - ineffectively the legal system would be absent on the court set date. We said it, for your amuse'...
Alas, roads in Italy are finally safe now that Snooki has been stripped from her drivers licence - not that she could ever have seen beyond the dashboard due to her 140cm shoelace length- including a funnel rivited to her achondroplasia neck - an ornamental lamppost. Or a pug with a surgical collar, which ever your preference...
The two officers escaped with minor whiplash injuries though they probably begged and pleaded for major fiendish injuiries - to the extreme where self-mutilation's an option...
To the point where they obtusely hallucinate and start shouting, 'transform us into a car - we'll take civil action - within 90days we'll fender bender the entire force' - whatever it takes to keep them off duty whilst Snooki continues to pull the plug on our humor with her fully throtlled irritation...
Hand this dwarf a trike please, eh?..
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