Its quite true-life, that these days it's as if cinema's have become celebratory brothels where blokes and dames would meet up at the mall before before they drill the holes in one another at the restroom...
Apart from it being plague-ridden by jackrabbits, it's also another alternative where you can take your bratty kids to watch the lame animation movies that camouflages the likes of hiddeous looking 'bunnys' in boyfriend suits, such as Russell Brand...
Whether good or bad, we honestly don't give a reeking wellington boot as to what critics have to say, as their critiques are no better than the movie scripts...
Movies are indeed the source of our entertainment, but the tin man, known as Harrison Ford who makes the wizard of OZ more antiquated, has made it his mission to spoil this perception for us, as he claims that the shitty films we watch are 'soulless'...
This folks, coming from a wilted actor who will soon have his shitty movies aired on TCM...
The 67 year old seasoned Ford claims that these movies are 'souless' as a result of the green screens...
In a bid to engage us with the seemingly obvious. Ford immodestly states, "I think that a lot of action movies lose these days, especially the ones that deal with fantasy, as you stop caring at some point because you've lost human scale".
We at She & Him see eye to eye with Ford to the extent that these movies are indeed soulless as you have inept dismal actors such as Vanessa Hudgens fabricating the fibs, and pulling the wool over our eyes to give us the impression that she's not as foolish in reality as she is on screen...
Furthermore, Ford states that, 'With computer-generated effects, suddenly there's a thousand enemies instead of six-the army goes into the horizon. You don't need that".
Quite spot on Ford (hip hip hooray!)!..
Discouragingly, these movies have gone to the point of forgetfulness, where the green screens have become habitual like an algae contaminated pond...
They litterally make you question whether it's worth paying for a movie ticket on 'half-price-Tuesday'. Especially now that we've heard through scuttlebutts that Gwyneth Paltrow, (the tedious looking piece of vessel that has earned our respect by calling her granny a cunt), might be staring in the 'Avengers'...
As for Ford, he won't retire and will continue his bore to death simulations by flouting his archaic physique...
We at She & Him pat you on your brittle back Ford, but alas, we recommend cement to plaster a veneer for your recoiled remains...
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Monday, 9 May 2011
Dad of the year award goes to...*creaks and groans*, Charlie Sheen?..
While many fathers are scrambling beneath the bed-bug infested couch, searching for the last remains of the piggy bank that they ploughed the free-range out of...
To feed the gluttony fat slobs that they are with a McD's cow dung burger to impregnate their enzymes...
Well, according to our potted-up sources, Sheen has in a shocking turn of events stepped up to the plate of a slaptsick parent?..
We presume that in the course of natural events, there comes a time in a mans life when he has to quit larking about snuffling, and toss the ACDC sweat shirt aside...
And become the ideal father you'd come across who would spend quality time with their kids by reading them stories and playing games with them...
Sheen nonetheless, has startlingly taught his prospect succesor twins the word 'rehab'...
Well according to the quaffed rehab mark off Sheen, "I'm teaching them words because they're speaking now"...
Oblivious to his prospect succesors typical child development, Sheen justifies the laughable aforementioned claiming that, "I'm teaching them the word 'rehab' so that they know where their mom is"...
It would be gramatically incorrect for Sheen to take any recognition, thus Sheen overlooked the actuality that their mom will be visiting him...
Sheen has further stated that, "My children at least know that if I'm not around, then I'm on tv", and don't forget that you're a star on She & Him...
Ah, what if the folks at She & Him passionately pronounced what an admiral job Sheen in particular is doing, then we would all sound like rumpled and malnourished opium-snorting anthropologists...
Well, what do you expect from a ham-fisted twat?..
So we say, well done Sheen. We shall take our fedora's off for this gracious act of idiocy to keep the juices flowing in our pens...
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn)
Adíos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
To feed the gluttony fat slobs that they are with a McD's cow dung burger to impregnate their enzymes...
Well, according to our potted-up sources, Sheen has in a shocking turn of events stepped up to the plate of a slaptsick parent?..
We presume that in the course of natural events, there comes a time in a mans life when he has to quit larking about snuffling, and toss the ACDC sweat shirt aside...
And become the ideal father you'd come across who would spend quality time with their kids by reading them stories and playing games with them...
Sheen nonetheless, has startlingly taught his prospect succesor twins the word 'rehab'...
Well according to the quaffed rehab mark off Sheen, "I'm teaching them words because they're speaking now"...
Oblivious to his prospect succesors typical child development, Sheen justifies the laughable aforementioned claiming that, "I'm teaching them the word 'rehab' so that they know where their mom is"...
It would be gramatically incorrect for Sheen to take any recognition, thus Sheen overlooked the actuality that their mom will be visiting him...
Sheen has further stated that, "My children at least know that if I'm not around, then I'm on tv", and don't forget that you're a star on She & Him...
Ah, what if the folks at She & Him passionately pronounced what an admiral job Sheen in particular is doing, then we would all sound like rumpled and malnourished opium-snorting anthropologists...
Well, what do you expect from a ham-fisted twat?..
So we say, well done Sheen. We shall take our fedora's off for this gracious act of idiocy to keep the juices flowing in our pens...
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn)
Adíos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
Seal-Mexico couldn't ruin the beautiful nightmare
Remember the time when your first dame told you that you were the most grotesque porcupine to have ever wandered the terrain? Aftr the first time in a turbulence of multiplicity they would come and go, and you'd eventually end up calling them bitches?..
Shame on you!.. No one has ever had it as bad as seal...Not the already dreadful looking marine creature...
Alas, this one indeed more atrocious and horrific, a gazed combination of bothe beast, 50cent and Mike Tyson, has made all blokes and bitch dames cringe in envy, and eerie throbbing...
Seal, the peculiar shatterproof-faced singer has kicked off the yearly cycles by renewing his vows with the exquisite Heidi...
After She & Him declined an invitation due to the peculiar shatterproof-faced singers malevolent appearance, we have however made it our duty to bring the hearsay to all you foxtrotters...
Six years may not sound like much to ordinary folks, aaut to Seal, this is indeed a lifetime...
With the drug battle spiraling out of control and Mexicans flocking back in numbers, immediately after the two lesbos, Tisdale and Hudgens left Mexico. Panic and anxiety set in for seal as he feared that this beautiful nightmare would cease to existence, as they planned to get married in Mexico...
Thankfully, the couple retreated to Mar-a-Lago club in palm beach where they had a small ceremony with friends and family (no casualties have been accounted for)...
According to Seal, he states that, "I can't believe that I'm this lucky to be married for six years". Astounding as this may sound, globally we are still flabbergasted Seal...
Furthermore, Seal shed some light on the drug battle in Mexico, claiming that Mexico's on the brink of Judgment Day due to a number of Mexicans named Jesus...
Take it from Seal and excuse yourself from Mexico, as a man this peculiar wouldn't even dare to fend himself against those dirty sanchez...
Heidi on the other hand states, that "I couldn't be more happier. Although he may be a grizzly bear at times, Seal always manages to surprise me".
Jesus, we are still surprised...
We at She & Him salute you and Heidi in a fruitful marriage as she licks the toffee of your face...
And we shall toot and hoot that there's still a twinkle of resilience left in us blokes...
Shame on you!.. No one has ever had it as bad as seal...Not the already dreadful looking marine creature...
Alas, this one indeed more atrocious and horrific, a gazed combination of bothe beast, 50cent and Mike Tyson, has made all blokes and bitch dames cringe in envy, and eerie throbbing...
Seal, the peculiar shatterproof-faced singer has kicked off the yearly cycles by renewing his vows with the exquisite Heidi...
After She & Him declined an invitation due to the peculiar shatterproof-faced singers malevolent appearance, we have however made it our duty to bring the hearsay to all you foxtrotters...
Six years may not sound like much to ordinary folks, aaut to Seal, this is indeed a lifetime...
With the drug battle spiraling out of control and Mexicans flocking back in numbers, immediately after the two lesbos, Tisdale and Hudgens left Mexico. Panic and anxiety set in for seal as he feared that this beautiful nightmare would cease to existence, as they planned to get married in Mexico...
Thankfully, the couple retreated to Mar-a-Lago club in palm beach where they had a small ceremony with friends and family (no casualties have been accounted for)...
According to Seal, he states that, "I can't believe that I'm this lucky to be married for six years". Astounding as this may sound, globally we are still flabbergasted Seal...
Furthermore, Seal shed some light on the drug battle in Mexico, claiming that Mexico's on the brink of Judgment Day due to a number of Mexicans named Jesus...
Take it from Seal and excuse yourself from Mexico, as a man this peculiar wouldn't even dare to fend himself against those dirty sanchez...
Heidi on the other hand states, that "I couldn't be more happier. Although he may be a grizzly bear at times, Seal always manages to surprise me".
Jesus, we are still surprised...
We at She & Him salute you and Heidi in a fruitful marriage as she licks the toffee of your face...
And we shall toot and hoot that there's still a twinkle of resilience left in us blokes...
Bieber's tour will evaporate the nuclear disaster in Japan, eh?
Ah...
Just when we thought the bane of our existence, known as the speckle egg Bieber, was about to marginalize our realities and all means of sanity...
We at She & Him have slipped on our lab coats and authorized the irritant Biebs with the thumbs-up...
After all that Japan has gone through, Biebs whom without any doubt has devalued the significance of the holy land, and infuriated plenty Jews with his spoilt bratiness, is adamant that he'll tour Japan...
Thus, its official...Biebs will be toddling on to give Japan more sorrow...
While Biebs has thrown a tantrum such as the sort you'll see at a Toys 'R Us outlet, his clued-up crew have singled out...
According to the crew, "It would've been okay, had the gentlemen clubs not been destroyed".
They further claim, that "Bieber's a brave young man. He's talented, skilled and gifted, and read to overcome any adversities".
Did we hear that correctly? Biebs' is able to overcome any adversities?...
Based upon universal research, we can elucidate that a roach has a more brawny anatomy than Biebs...
As for the speckle egg bein talented? skilled? gifted? Yes folks! He's clearly accomplished at blowing a fuse beyond our feet into the tectonic plate boundaries...
Whatever those twits see in the tiny speckle egg, we have not seen it in 3D...
On the other hand...
There's no doubt about it that Japan has the capacity and measures to acidify the Biebmicrobe...
It's pretty obvious that when Japan boasted about the measures it had in place to deal with the nuclear radiation, with a skillfull backhand they were enticing Biebs...
Biebs will indeed be at the epicenter of all this mishaps with screaming Japanese Beliebers scuttling like a bowl of noodles, while we at She & Him would 'lol', 'loao', 'lofao' and all the other acronyms we would've used in our formative years to describe this mirth of Biebs believing that he has spooned over the Japanese with contentment while the Filipino's loot the stage...
Shame...
Never say never, eh? You heard it from She & Him Beliebers...
Just when we thought the bane of our existence, known as the speckle egg Bieber, was about to marginalize our realities and all means of sanity...
We at She & Him have slipped on our lab coats and authorized the irritant Biebs with the thumbs-up...
After all that Japan has gone through, Biebs whom without any doubt has devalued the significance of the holy land, and infuriated plenty Jews with his spoilt bratiness, is adamant that he'll tour Japan...
Thus, its official...Biebs will be toddling on to give Japan more sorrow...
While Biebs has thrown a tantrum such as the sort you'll see at a Toys 'R Us outlet, his clued-up crew have singled out...
According to the crew, "It would've been okay, had the gentlemen clubs not been destroyed".
They further claim, that "Bieber's a brave young man. He's talented, skilled and gifted, and read to overcome any adversities".
Did we hear that correctly? Biebs' is able to overcome any adversities?...
Based upon universal research, we can elucidate that a roach has a more brawny anatomy than Biebs...
As for the speckle egg bein talented? skilled? gifted? Yes folks! He's clearly accomplished at blowing a fuse beyond our feet into the tectonic plate boundaries...
Whatever those twits see in the tiny speckle egg, we have not seen it in 3D...
On the other hand...
There's no doubt about it that Japan has the capacity and measures to acidify the Biebmicrobe...
It's pretty obvious that when Japan boasted about the measures it had in place to deal with the nuclear radiation, with a skillfull backhand they were enticing Biebs...
Biebs will indeed be at the epicenter of all this mishaps with screaming Japanese Beliebers scuttling like a bowl of noodles, while we at She & Him would 'lol', 'loao', 'lofao' and all the other acronyms we would've used in our formative years to describe this mirth of Biebs believing that he has spooned over the Japanese with contentment while the Filipino's loot the stage...
Shame...
Never say never, eh? You heard it from She & Him Beliebers...
Saturday, 7 May 2011
Jane-Joe Janus will go solo-She & Him foxtrotters applauses this move
Apologies foxtrotters from She & Him, for yesterdays barren landscape in the realm of blogs, as we at headquarters spazzed out due to jingling to the overnight ear dronning Rebecca Black's 'fried-egg' schreecher...
Which brings us to our discussion...
As all you foxtrotters know, music indeed moves us...
Remember the days of the garden-shiting hippies... To the bionic snorters of electro music... To the busted lethargic-lipped ‘to dumb to even get a job at McDonalds’ rapper...
Music has indeed had its ups of chart toppers...
And its downs of chart floppers...
Thus, She & Him marginalizes it for all ya'll foxtrotters
She & Him can confirm that music also has its ways of screwing us as a result of chart floppers...
We can also verify that the wrist gasher Demi Lovato was not 'pushed to hard' by the Janus Kittens, which you can sniff up from our weekday thrusty panties...
Anyways...
As inquisitive as all panty sniffers are, we tiresomely wonder where the Janus Kittens stand...
Are they disintegrating like failed organs?..
While the wrist gasher's locked in the pound, She & Him has condensated our bore-hole water international correspondant to the showers of the Janus Kittens...
She & Him can verify that the unshaven pube-haired Janus, appallingly vomiting, known as Kevin was not present as he had to make dinner reservations for his wife whom's incapable at cooking...
We have however staggered upon the anal stage Janus brother, Nick, who has corroborated on the accusations made by She & Him...
The bobble barbed-wired head claims that Jane-Joe Janus is going solo...
Whoa...Mighty words young fella...
Thus, Jane-Joe Janus is going solo in hope of contradicting his queer looks and attracting dames and not blokes to the camp...
Not, surprisingly Nicole Shitsinger attempted the solo popo too...
But ended up reverberating like a dubbed jammed tape out of the trunk of a hippie volkswagen...
Kelly Rowland remember her?..
The unheard of 'singer' whom rocketed off to stardum by singing in Beyoncè's watermelon-sized bottom's shadow...
She has however embarked on a career dump to prove herself...
By emptying the largest soccer stadium in South Africa...
Shame...
So Jane-Joe Janus...
We at She & Him believe that you have the potential to be a performer...
Utilize your queer looks and allow us to laugh our potty bottoms off...
As for your singing...
Fortunately...
She & Him has left the builing...
Which brings us to our discussion...
As all you foxtrotters know, music indeed moves us...
Remember the days of the garden-shiting hippies... To the bionic snorters of electro music... To the busted lethargic-lipped ‘to dumb to even get a job at McDonalds’ rapper...
Music has indeed had its ups of chart toppers...
And its downs of chart floppers...
Thus, She & Him marginalizes it for all ya'll foxtrotters
She & Him can confirm that music also has its ways of screwing us as a result of chart floppers...
We can also verify that the wrist gasher Demi Lovato was not 'pushed to hard' by the Janus Kittens, which you can sniff up from our weekday thrusty panties...
Anyways...
As inquisitive as all panty sniffers are, we tiresomely wonder where the Janus Kittens stand...
Are they disintegrating like failed organs?..
While the wrist gasher's locked in the pound, She & Him has condensated our bore-hole water international correspondant to the showers of the Janus Kittens...
She & Him can verify that the unshaven pube-haired Janus, appallingly vomiting, known as Kevin was not present as he had to make dinner reservations for his wife whom's incapable at cooking...
We have however staggered upon the anal stage Janus brother, Nick, who has corroborated on the accusations made by She & Him...
The bobble barbed-wired head claims that Jane-Joe Janus is going solo...
Whoa...Mighty words young fella...
Thus, Jane-Joe Janus is going solo in hope of contradicting his queer looks and attracting dames and not blokes to the camp...
Not, surprisingly Nicole Shitsinger attempted the solo popo too...
But ended up reverberating like a dubbed jammed tape out of the trunk of a hippie volkswagen...
Kelly Rowland remember her?..
The unheard of 'singer' whom rocketed off to stardum by singing in Beyoncè's watermelon-sized bottom's shadow...
She has however embarked on a career dump to prove herself...
By emptying the largest soccer stadium in South Africa...
Shame...
So Jane-Joe Janus...
We at She & Him believe that you have the potential to be a performer...
Utilize your queer looks and allow us to laugh our potty bottoms off...
As for your singing...
Fortunately...
She & Him has left the builing...
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Trump card-Jump the Trump? She & Him marginalizes it for you foxtrot folks
Canada...
Globally known for manufacturing the likes of the the french fries clogged larynx sensation, Celine Dion...
That brought pussy blokes to tears with her icebearg ear deafening Titanic jingle...
Also...
It has infested the countryside with the country (again, without the 'o') incest sensation, Shania Twain...
Furthermore... It has lowered its standards by manufacturing the doll-faced shrub known as Bieber...
When India needs more dames for the scatterplot-dotted unshaven chumps...
As we know from the previous snot blog concerning the whining doll-faced shrub, She & Him produced, 'Totty tantrums-Bieber falls in love with fairy tale-like destroyer'...
Alas...
We feel obliged to do something disgustingly positive for you okes, blokes, stoked narcotic hippies and vomiting dames...
That Canda...
Like a sexually infested hag whose fallopian tubes are like the sewage pipe throat of an East European bloke...
Has embraced bieber's protagonist tot notions, by corroborating with Anthony Baxter, the filmaker bloke...
Who's attempting to launch a fist at the degenerated sperm cell Trump, with his documentary...
Before we label the degenerating sperm cell as a 'bully'...
She & Him will review the latest research that has come to the fore...
From what we've heard at the She & Him headquarters...
We assume that the degenerating sperm cell probably demanded from the simmering tea pot Obama, to teach him how to dougie...
Obama on the broken telephone, presumably overheard 'doggy', and blasted off the assumed sexual hints...
The degenerating sperm cell Trump, then cocked into pussy mode...
And like an erectile dysfunctioned penis that he is...
Resolved to have a battle with the ever-morphing Obama...
Obama however...
Slipped out his birth certificate and gashed the fine-hairs left on the degenerating sperm cell Trump...
So we ask, if this makes the degenerating sperm cell Trump a 'bully'?
More like a total asshole...
Nonetheless...
Anthony Baxter, the filmaker bloke hopes that he'll get a U.S distributor
Huhuhuhuhuuu...
Word of advice from the She & Him and the gang...
Slip the tape and some heterosexual porn into Bieber the doll-faced shrub's seventeen mag fan mail...
As the doll-faced shrub supports the revolutionary movement from whimps to protagonist...
And then you could romantically embrace with the tot infront of millions of puking She & Him's...
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn)
Adíos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
Globally known for manufacturing the likes of the the french fries clogged larynx sensation, Celine Dion...
That brought pussy blokes to tears with her icebearg ear deafening Titanic jingle...
Also...
It has infested the countryside with the country (again, without the 'o') incest sensation, Shania Twain...
Furthermore... It has lowered its standards by manufacturing the doll-faced shrub known as Bieber...
When India needs more dames for the scatterplot-dotted unshaven chumps...
As we know from the previous snot blog concerning the whining doll-faced shrub, She & Him produced, 'Totty tantrums-Bieber falls in love with fairy tale-like destroyer'...
Alas...
We feel obliged to do something disgustingly positive for you okes, blokes, stoked narcotic hippies and vomiting dames...
That Canda...
Like a sexually infested hag whose fallopian tubes are like the sewage pipe throat of an East European bloke...
Has embraced bieber's protagonist tot notions, by corroborating with Anthony Baxter, the filmaker bloke...
Who's attempting to launch a fist at the degenerated sperm cell Trump, with his documentary...
Before we label the degenerating sperm cell as a 'bully'...
She & Him will review the latest research that has come to the fore...
From what we've heard at the She & Him headquarters...
We assume that the degenerating sperm cell probably demanded from the simmering tea pot Obama, to teach him how to dougie...
Obama on the broken telephone, presumably overheard 'doggy', and blasted off the assumed sexual hints...
The degenerating sperm cell Trump, then cocked into pussy mode...
And like an erectile dysfunctioned penis that he is...
Resolved to have a battle with the ever-morphing Obama...
Obama however...
Slipped out his birth certificate and gashed the fine-hairs left on the degenerating sperm cell Trump...
So we ask, if this makes the degenerating sperm cell Trump a 'bully'?
More like a total asshole...
Nonetheless...
Anthony Baxter, the filmaker bloke hopes that he'll get a U.S distributor
Huhuhuhuhuuu...
Word of advice from the She & Him and the gang...
Slip the tape and some heterosexual porn into Bieber the doll-faced shrub's seventeen mag fan mail...
As the doll-faced shrub supports the revolutionary movement from whimps to protagonist...
And then you could romantically embrace with the tot infront of millions of puking She & Him's...
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn)
Adíos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Aniston prefer's 'bad guys'-lighting technitions, eh?
She & Him can confirm that Jennifer Aniston has a fetish for bad boys...
Well, atleast according to the lighthouse figurine ex of Aniston...
The supposedly under the rug lighthouse figurine, Brian Bouma, states that the aggressive fetish bad boy obsessed bombshell prefers 'bad boys'...
Unlike the uncompromising sap that's still bitch-narrating to eminem's vagina farts, this bloke's still dazzled by the short-lived shack up, and has nothing but complimentary things to say...
Furthermore...
What we can decode from this incongruent terminology made by the bloke's that...
While performing his lighthouse duties, Aniston, 'agressively pursued' him on the set of the movie 'Love Happens'...
Agressively pursued? Does this mean that Aniston might be going the route of the likes of Sheen and Lilololololohan?...
F*cking awesome, as we enthusiastically anticipate a showdown where she'll go on a travesty and castarate the mannish Courtney Cox...
Furthermore, in reconstruction of the trial and error, it was probably like a filthy behind the scenes game of snakes and ladders...
The lighthouse figurine probably being a coarse and filthy depleted sap, shone a torch-like-device, in the already pissed off dvd hit sensation's face...
Which resulted in the bombshell assailing like a sexually frustrated ram bashing the lighthouse figurine off the ladder...
The rest is history in your demented minds...
We can't blame Aniston though for wanting to climb the ladder and taste the fruits from the bushy garden...
As John Mayer couldn't even give her an inch off the piano stool, as the razzle dazzle pansy fancies singing to the mic...
So...Where does this leave all the Ted Bundy and OJ protegès?...
It's up to She & Him to put common sense to use and to decode what the discarded potty rag ex of Aniston's attempting to enlighten us with...
Could it be that we should't give a...
F*ck about the frivolous demands of the burdened economy and societal evenhandedness...
Furthermore...
Should we become ineffective perverted lighting technitions, such as the lighthouse figurine...
Hey Aniston, the chaps at She & Him have Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face...
Isn't that bad enough for you?...
Anyways, a bad guy according to Aniston's, playing a piano while reciting pussy love songs that makes you cringe with an inflexible penis constraining you to sitting on a piano stool...
Bad guys, that can't be John right?..
The Aniston sort won't knock the f*cking daylights out of you, but they'll turn you on and off...
Martin Lawrence and Will Smith, eh?
Anyways...
We will continue to militarize the chaps at She & Him in hope that they'll qualify as bad boys when you're in your MILF retirement stage...
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn)
Adíos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
Well, atleast according to the lighthouse figurine ex of Aniston...
The supposedly under the rug lighthouse figurine, Brian Bouma, states that the aggressive fetish bad boy obsessed bombshell prefers 'bad boys'...
Unlike the uncompromising sap that's still bitch-narrating to eminem's vagina farts, this bloke's still dazzled by the short-lived shack up, and has nothing but complimentary things to say...
Furthermore...
What we can decode from this incongruent terminology made by the bloke's that...
While performing his lighthouse duties, Aniston, 'agressively pursued' him on the set of the movie 'Love Happens'...
Agressively pursued? Does this mean that Aniston might be going the route of the likes of Sheen and Lilololololohan?...
F*cking awesome, as we enthusiastically anticipate a showdown where she'll go on a travesty and castarate the mannish Courtney Cox...
Furthermore, in reconstruction of the trial and error, it was probably like a filthy behind the scenes game of snakes and ladders...
The lighthouse figurine probably being a coarse and filthy depleted sap, shone a torch-like-device, in the already pissed off dvd hit sensation's face...
Which resulted in the bombshell assailing like a sexually frustrated ram bashing the lighthouse figurine off the ladder...
The rest is history in your demented minds...
We can't blame Aniston though for wanting to climb the ladder and taste the fruits from the bushy garden...
As John Mayer couldn't even give her an inch off the piano stool, as the razzle dazzle pansy fancies singing to the mic...
So...Where does this leave all the Ted Bundy and OJ protegès?...
It's up to She & Him to put common sense to use and to decode what the discarded potty rag ex of Aniston's attempting to enlighten us with...
Could it be that we should't give a...
F*ck about the frivolous demands of the burdened economy and societal evenhandedness...
Furthermore...
Should we become ineffective perverted lighting technitions, such as the lighthouse figurine...
Hey Aniston, the chaps at She & Him have Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face...
Isn't that bad enough for you?...
Anyways, a bad guy according to Aniston's, playing a piano while reciting pussy love songs that makes you cringe with an inflexible penis constraining you to sitting on a piano stool...
Bad guys, that can't be John right?..
The Aniston sort won't knock the f*cking daylights out of you, but they'll turn you on and off...
Martin Lawrence and Will Smith, eh?
Anyways...
We will continue to militarize the chaps at She & Him in hope that they'll qualify as bad boys when you're in your MILF retirement stage...
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn)
Adíos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
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