Expression of gratitude for your correspondence mar-ons. We at She & Him take great pleasure in having you mar-ons snub against our cold-shoulders. Not really though. As you brought us grief with your melancholic jargon.
Boohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
We are exhausted with mar-ons extoliating us for our unsavory reputation and pissing on our parade . We shall not contest notoriety, yet all your bewailing has forced us to smash the tulip vase into our beautiful faces to bring about some dash of empathy...
So, we'll continue to infuriate 3,95 million pubieberscents with literary vitamins, whom pottied themselves into a tantrum when Biebs' engaged in a kindergarten game of ring-a-round-rosie with Selena Gomez at the Billboard Music awards...
Tiresomely, while we at She & Him blotted out to watch Celebrity Apprentice, Justin Bieber has transformed into even more of a brat, and taken the first step into becoming a She & Him when he smooched Selena Gomez' midget portal on stage, crooning 'baby! baby! oooh!' when his butterfly spurted a drop of prostatic fluid in his pampers.
According to sources fictitiously acquinted to celebs (plebs that scoop up doo-doos in the celeb confession cubicle, Twitter), 7,9 million viewers tuned in to the Billboard Music awards, half of which were pubieberscents whom snapped the smooch...
How did they know half were pubieberscents? And the rest were? Yes, pervs. Still, how did they predict that millions of pubieberscents would bend their nap-time curfew?..
Kids grow so fast these days it's difficult to keep track of their activities (Michael RIP). Kids would go to school because they annoy us at home, and because we are forever haunted by their crayola murals on the livingroom walls that psychologists claim to be 'powerful messages being transmitted to us'. Because they are no longer average brats, according to a poopy-scooper they work hard, eh?..
"After working their asses off, they've carved out some serious time to hang out. They're taking a well-deserved break together."
Doing homework together?.. Slumber parties?.. Painting toenails?..What?..WHAAAAAAAAAT?..
Ag, screw child psychology as we theorize that Gomez probably pulled the stint to guarantee her ghastly puny bottom celebrity status... On twitter...
Sigh...
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn)
AdÃos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
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