Oi! Beckham! Have you gone dotty?..
Do you hate America so bad that you are willing to rear-end plebs onto the ambulance stretcher?..
Or, are you just bugging out at the sight the embryo warting out of the manikin - your lass Victoria? ..
Probably the most angry bloke on the road in America at this point in time - Beckham "driving reckelessly" ploughed his meshed foot on the accelerator pedal jamming in to cars on the freeway, taunting avid dailers to hang-up on the late-night special and dail 911...
Beckham sparked a new trend of car accidents since May 6 - and has become feverishly popular than phone sex hotlines on 911, as sources close to our wellies claim that he was "speeding really bad... driving wrecklessly... breaking a couple of traffic laws." Sigh...
Authorities and folks don't give two hoots with regard to Beckhams impaired motor coordination as keeping him off the football pitch leads to greener pastures...
A spokesman for Beckham tells She & Him:
"As unfortunate as accidents are, David was not cited for the police at the scene for any violations."
Meaning, he was a polite bloke - journeying as if it were a sunday drive down the highway with his son Brooklyn - not breaking the law by moving in and out of the car pool lane - then likely onto the pavement - for safety reasons - while folks humorously paddled passed him as if they were on trikes...
He probably handed Brooklyn the wheel so that he would not be cited for any traffic violations at the scene - the crash happend but it was not Beckham, ok?..
Take it from Brad, Beckham.
"I certainly don't raise my kids that same way. I'm painfully aware that my actions leave a double mark on them in these formidable years, so I make sure I don't bring my crap at home."
What a way to egg on the old-spice enthusiast Beckham. We suggest you crash at home and buy canned food folks. Hopefully up until Beckham receives parenting skills, before there are more puppets hanging from highway lightpoles...
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