Russell Brand, for all intents and purposes is not a shaggy-bobbled carbon copy of Janice Dickinson, ok? Japs have eyes despite the fact that their shutters may appear bunged, they are able to tell the difference even with the slightest visual impairment, ok?..
Chopsticks aside folks. Alas, Katy Perry was off the beam when she decided to bring Russell and his pocket-sized notepad chuckles with her to see the sights of Japan. Shame...
It was an aftershock that Japan muddled through, as Brand was deported before he shuffled the Osaka sun from East-West with his ephemeral buffoonery, and booooooringly bothered flora and fauna Jap biodiversity enthusiasts...
Katy bawled out on Twitter, blubbering that:
"So...my husband just got deported back from Japan. I am so. sad. I brought him all this way to show him my favorite place#tokyodreamscrushed".
Imagine how the Japs must've felt knowing that Brand was about to chisel in with his chopticks, cruising through Tokyo streets like a Thai transvestite in a karaoke cab. Katy apparently didn't think much of the deportation as she's evidently avant-garde:
"...but of COURSE I (love) my Japanese fans & the show #MUSTGOON no matter the daily aftershocks or husband kidnappings ! it'snotrightbutit'sokay".
So the show MUSTGOOOOON folks. We said it. Katy said it. We at She & Him wouldn't want to meddle in the ultramodern Jap labs affairs now that Arnie's on the merry-go-round, and have card-extremists papercut us by summoning futuristic androids on cardboard...
Well Russell continued to peel the musk layer off our skins with his thick-skinned text alert:
"Planning escape from Japanese custody. It's bloody hard to dig a tunnel with a chopstick"
Do Japs use chopsticks to remove heroine from low-end alimentary canals? If so, can we get a Yakuza bloke in here for Russell please?..
Mi casa es su casa (you are welcome to potty on this lawn: she0and0him@gmail.com)
AdÃos conocido/as
Don't bother trying to sniff our vasectomy panties on Facebook or Twitter as the writer chooses to remain anonymous, for reasons of having Jesus' abs and Brad Shits face.
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